The big bosses at Artforum asked for an annotated list of the ten best art thingies of the '90s, and that's exactly what they're gonna get. No Greil Marcus/Ron Rosenbaum-style envelope-pushing to slip in a remaindered CD by Animal Logic or the best chopped liver on the Upper West Side. Oh all right, a little fudging here and there to wedge in a few extra items, but otherwise, straight down the pike.

2 Eddie Izzard Yep, I'm violating my most deeply held principle: Up with art-object art, and... fuck showbiz! But the thirty-seven-year-old English comic is a genius, if not an outright god. I've seen the video of his "Dressed to Kill" concert eight times, and my rapture at his gag lines ("Cake or death? Cake, please," or "Scale it back a bit, you're British") has actually been superseded by enchantment with his mere filler ("Um. . . and yes, that's all true"). Only a Frans Hals lace collar makes me as dizzy with delight. Izzard's comedy is so intelligent, gracefully structured, and kindhearted that his trademark gender bending ("executive transvestite") is just a cherry on the cake.